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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Time Has Come...

I had nothing to write this morning. And then I read this and wanted to share it. I know that for me (and many many others) we are our own worst critic.

"My beloved child, break your heart no longer.
Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart.
You stop feeding on the love, which is the wellspring of your vitality.
The time has come. Your time. To live. To celebrate,
and to see the goodness that you are…
Do not fight the dark. Just turn on the light.
Let go, and breathe into the goodness that you are..." Swami Kripalu

If we allow ourselves to we can pick apart everything that we are doing in life...and how we're doing it wrong. But what about the things we're doing right? I'm far from even touching perfect. I feel failure all too often for teeny tiny little things that maybe I'm not doing right. I gave the baby a Poptart for lunch instead of steamed veggies full of nutrients. Many days I feel like I am incapable of keeping my house in order; clean, organized,etc...

I let the big boy watch TV instead of coming up with some nifty Pinterest-worthy Halloween craft or project because I was just mentally wiped out. I dipped my hands into that beloved bag of Halloween candy at 9pm because the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were literally calling my name. My willpower shattered. I waited to order the baby's Halloween costume and now it's out of stock...way to go Me! 

I chose to come home and read instead of taking a hike. I haven't been to yoga in over a week. I blew my budget because I made the mistake of going to Target (and we all know the power that Target can have on you right?) I mean, I could come up with a million little things that make me feel bad about myself.

 Maybe you're reading this and thinking.."Um, no big deal dude...it's a peanut butter cup!" And what's worst is I KNOW. We all have days. The above mentioned things make me so annoyed at myself it's not even funny. That girl is so annoying.  Or maybe you're reading this thinking "Amen. Let's stop this nonsense" because you too judge yourself harshly. We have moments. I can choose to not judge others and yet I still judge myself so hard. I wouldn't treat a friend that way so why do it to myself? If I'm going to judge myself I should make it about big things. 

And so that's where I was this morning....and then I read this and it made me feel better. Made me question my judginess (is that a word?).  I want to turn on the light and not break my own heart, for the love of all the Peanut Butter cups in the world! 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Going Dark

I have so many things I want to write about on this blog. I really do. Like how excited I am that it's Fall. How I've been reading some amazing books that have been pretty transformative. About how I've been thinking about "home" a lot lately and what and where that is for me. How sentimental I've been about certain friendships and thinking about the past. But oh my gosh, having little kids occasionally can swipe all of the energy out of you. It's like I am an ATM machine and they withdraw all of my energy daily...but no one is there to deposit more when I need it. Well, my good friend coffee helps me out but even that can't compete on some days. By the end of the day I. AM. DONE.

So I've been dark. Typing up drafts of thoughts that are incomplete. Logging on and then having to shut down almost right away as the baby wakes up from her nap (of course). The stars haven't aligned the last few weeks. I think I blame some of the behavior over here on the moon, all lunar eclipse and all.

But I am SUPER excited for the next few weeks. We have so many fun events coming up that I can't stand it (and that doesn't even include Halloween which is my fave). This weekend we'll be attending the annual Lebeau Fest over which I've blogged about before....hello adults night only!! WOO WOO! Aiden starts Flag Football (with the hubs stepping up to coach) and there is just nothing cuter.

The following weekend is our annual wine tasting that we attend with some of our great friends which is basically like the ultimate Sunday Funday and then the following weekend we get to go to DC to witness one of my best friends getting married!

Time to start looking for outfits that don't involve yoga pants!!!

Happy Fall Ya'll!!!!